A hard but important lesson on sex:
This morning during an intimate experience with a partner we both managed to trigger one another.
I gave him sensual touch which I felt like giving, but once I had had enough I stopped.
My partner was triggered as enjoying the experience he had expected my touch was leading to intercourse / orgasm.
Being tantric he expressed that he was feeling triggered and needed a way to release the anger he now felt in his body from lack of release…. cue my trigger.
I was furious. ‘How RIDICULOUS’ I shouted to him. How dare you have expectations.
We sat down and talked and it became clear. Pornography and male standards had led my partner to having the belief that sexual touch from a woman will, and SHOULD lead somewhere.
Now in tears I explained how this expectation had lead to me having unwanted sex in my past, more times than I can say.
You see men and women are trapped in this vicious cycle TOGETHER. Young BOYS and MEN are continuing to receive information from society and the media that sexual expectations of women are standard.
Meanwhile WOMEN have not been told that they are FREE from expectations. That their body is THEIR OWN. That any sexual touch they choose to give STOPS when they want it to stop. That it’s OKAY to change your mind DURING sexual interaction / intercourse. Women have not been made aware OR made to feel safe to SPEAK THEIR TRUTH.
Imagine this, you’re a man having sex and suddenly your dick goes soft — for whatever reason. What happens now? The sexual intercourse stops, you cannot continue.
Well if a woman’s vagina turns ‘off’ — for whatever reason there is no GATE that suddenly closes and shoves the penis / fingers / tongue (you get my point) out. There are NO gates in a woman, there are only her WORDS.
Once I explained this to my partner he was speechless. He thanked me so much for teaching him this and promised to teach the men in his life this vital lesson. I walked downstairs grabbed my iPad and typed this.
Now it’s your turn. Spread this message men AND women together need to create a new sex culture. And I ain’t fucking stopping till we get there.
How have you experienced expectations in sexuality?
Artist unknown — please comment if you do ❣
This was posted posted onto facebook the morning of November 4th 2019. By nighttime it had reached 12 000 people I was flooded with private messages from MEN and WOMEN about how this issue had touched them, reminding them of their own painful experiences of engaging in sexual experiences that were NOT a full YES from their yoni / lingum.
Without notification, email, any form of contact my post was deleted the next morning.
Facebooks filtration of vital content perpetuates a world were men and women are refused the basic human right to sex education that can literally transform the way we relate and can even REDUCE even sex violence.
Creating a change for sex culture will be harder without major platforms like Facebook, but that ain’t gonna fucking stop me.
And to YOU: comment below on how you feel about my original post, about deleted content, and please if this resonates SHARE IT!